The Last of the Stags

The air was hot and heavy as the mid day sun shone brightly over head.  The smell of manure and grass filled my nose as I walked through the gravel parking lot to the Springbank Ranch Farmers Market.  The buildings are arranged in a fort format.  Outlying buildings for the entrance with an entrance hall nestled between them.  A walkway connects to the feed hall and outside you can see an inner yard.  Upon venturing out to this inner yard you see the great gate on one end and variety of shops forming a circle around it.  The wood is old and looks weathered and reminds me of old west movie ranches.  You can see the defensive nature of how it was built and the functional way it was laid out.  This is an old style ranch and is suited to the stampede metropolis I call home. . . Calgary.  As I push the stroller through the parking lot and into the farmers market I am pleased to find that the selection is better than what I thought it would be.  Free range beef and bison, chicken and pork, and if you are really adventurous there is grouse, deer, and lamb meat available for your culinary excursions.  There is even non GMO soy based meats for the vegans in the party.  I leave with some grass fed beef jerky and some vegan dishes for N & A since A is cows milk intolerant.  This causes strife for my Wife as she is an Avid fan of cheese and yogurt.  Ohhh and I brought home some bison chorizo soooo looking forward to using that!  But this was where the day started.  But this was not the Stag I was meaning.

Later that evening I would venture out with friends I have known since high school to celebrate his upcoming marriage to a wonderful woman.  Now mind you this is the second time we have celebrated this particular friend’s marriage or I should say the second marriage.  I called the first one at the wedding that it wouldn’t last very long.  I know I am a horrid friend but I was right.  This one I can’t say the same.  She is perfect for him and he knows it.  If this falls apart it will be him not her that causes the issue.

So @ 6pm I get in the parents Mustang (on loan since they are not driving right now, PS LOVE N’s Parents for having sport cars they can’t drive.)  and drive to pick up my friend Steve and the bachelor Tizz.  They are both over six feet and the backseat of the Mustang barely fits A in his car seat so it was a bit of a cramped ride.  We drive downtown after Tizz dons his WWE championship Belt with STAG written on it, Nerd glasses, and two Sharpie Pens.  Ok so I fancy myself a MacGyver kind of guy and you can just imagine what we thought of to use with those three things . . . Suffice it to say permanent marker is a bitch to get off later 🙂

We head down to one of the clubs downtown call West restaurant and bar.  Well they take one look at Tizz and say nope sorry we don’t open in 9:00 and it will be standing room only.  So we head to an underground pub down the street to round up the gang and grab some nutrients before the onslaught of alcohol began.  The boys all arrive and we venture towards WEST at around 9:15 ish.  By this time we are already a few beers in with a few shots for flavouring.  My drinking stops here as I may have to head home to help with A at anytime.

We pay our cover (OMG has that gone up since I frequented bars like this) anyway the main inside part of the club is dead as we wait for the Private party upstairs to finish their frivolity.   A couple of more beers and my friends are primed.  We head upstairs wind around an open hallway for a bit then enter the rooftop patio . . . I look back to make sure there was not a portal I just walked through but I didn’t see one.  I look back around and again feel little like Dorothy in OZ.  The Rooftop patio was cut straight from a Miami dance club and the colors of the lights could be described as psychedelic.  You could almost smell the hormones oozing from the dance floor as people were grinding and moving.  It was standing room only and the bars were all lined up.  Of the group all but 2 of us were taken, IE married or about to be.

As it was a Stag my description here on out will center around me so as not to single out any individual in case their wife reads my blog 🙂  the plan was to play the part of rich executives that were out celebrating our buddies pending nuptials somehow I got the role of Porn producer . . . ummm not likely.  Thankfully the music was too loud to hear anything other than shouting.  The plan was to have random women sign Tizz’s belt . . . well it ended up being sign Tizz by the end of the night.  His fiancé called us the next morning to explain that we promised to clean up any messes . . . I didn’t make that promise but my buddy did.  Again I will say sharpie is a bitch to get off  LOL.  Overall the night was fun and we all had a good time.  I even got hit on which was a wicked boost to my ego but I had my phone out which must have covered my wedding ring and promptly showed her a picture of A, I had as my background, and moved my hand out to where she could now see the ring . . . she said he was beautiful and wished me a good night.  I offered her the same and smiled as she blushed and turned away.

That one little act kept a smile on my face for days after.  I love my wife with all of my heart but after almost 17 years together you get a little surprised that someone else may find you attractive.  Well at least I do.  I try to be attractive in my wife’s eyes when I can but she has seen me at my worst . . . and she still loves me so that will forever be hard to beat.

Well this blog has taken me 2 months to write . . . since then my son has grown and is now super cute but has his own set of issues which hopefully I will go through in another post later.

So until next time we meet . . .


About williamgwscott

A random collection of my thoughts throughout time. I am an aspiring writer and foodie. I currently have an "obsession" with wholefoods so I hope to share with you some fantastic recipes, discussions on food in general and some thoughts regarding writing, books or anythings else that comes to mind.
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