Time to Reflect and Change

So lets start at the beginning . . .

On June 6th, 2013 we were blessed with a son.  That was the positive stress, the negative stress was about to hit the fan.  I will paraphrase them a bit: He had some issues with GERD and Colic; Nancy, my wife, was left alone at the hospital as her “neighbour” in the recovery room was a bit needy; Her Dad had congestive heart failure the day Alexander, My Son, was born;  2 weeks later her mom goes into the hospital due to severe malnutrition (from not eating due to stress of her husband being in the hospital).  So the next six months is a circus of stress and frustration.  My work suffers and I am told I will be called back into the office if it does stop; At almost the exact 6 month mark I am called back to work in the office for a month and a half.

So just when things at home were calming down I now must pay the penance for choosing my life over work decisions.  Alexander’s GERD has subsided and COLIC resolved, Nancy’s Parents are both back home and making an effort not to call us for everything.  Things are looking up.  Or I thought they were.

So me going into the office was a price I thought I was willing to pay.  Turns out the cost was higher than I imagined.  In my absence and with no other negative stress weighing on Nancy she began to manifest her postpartum depression that was pushed off to the side during the last 6 months.   Now, it was always there but she is a smart and determined woman and rationalized and pushed her way through it while other stress was present to focus her energies on.  but as I said The worst of the other stressors had calmed down.  So I was gone and she was left with Alexander and her thoughts . . . So again I must iterate that she is a Smart and determined woman, Thank the powers that be.  I see the changes beginning to manifest themselves over the course of the 3 weeks I was gone.  but nothing serious was developing as we discussed everything often.  But two weeks ago I came down with the NoroVirus, Think stomach flu and times it by 10.   well I was put in Quarantine in our house.  we did not want Alexander to get it at all.  So I stayed in my room and died.  our room is fairly well-appointed so I was not put out much, but this was the straw that broke Nancy.  She became obsessed with germs.  Her PPD flared into PPOCD.

She moved out of our room for the spare room and would not even enter our room for a change of clothes.  She used an entire bottle of Lysol and entire container of Lysol wipes to disinfect the house.  suffice it to say it effected everything.  She couldn’t go out side the house for fear of germs and nothing from outside she would touch.  I got better and still she refused to come back into the bedroom.

well I went back to work as I was better and had to I lasted two days before I just about lost my sanity over worry for her and Alexander.  She even had me disinfect myself before I came in the house.  So we called Families Matter, a resource group for new mothers here in Calgary.  The councillor suggested we go see the family doctor.  The next morning Nancy was feeding Alex and just froze.  she had full-blown anxiety attack well that was it I was not going to work we needed to get her help.  I called our family doctor and got her in right away.  She prescribed for Nancy an anti depressant and I suggested ongoing conversations with the councillor at Families Matter.

So now we are here.  I am ball of stress and have a hard time sleeping for worry over her and if she is able to resolve this.  I am hoping the therapy helps but I am surprised at how drained and wasted I feel.  So I am taking some time to get better and help support Nancy in her efforts to get better.  For my health I am creating a new blog that will outline my plan and I will write daily on its progress.  I will link it here later when It is created.

For Nancy, as I mentioned she is Smart and determined so she is learning everything she can to help her handle this issue now and in the future.  The road to recovery has begun for us both and Alexander is flourishing So I know only good things will come.

So Until we meet again . . .